Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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