Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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