from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
