ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
