I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
