True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
