That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
