he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
