tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
