I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
