I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
