My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
