I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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