Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
