there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
