I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
