I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
