i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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