My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
