dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There r osticjed everywhere
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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