I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
