Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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