There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just high enough for therapy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
