She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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