3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
