Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
