i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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