Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Pants are for mortals
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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