Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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