if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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