After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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