remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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