He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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