Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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