Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
