It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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