He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
