Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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