Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
