things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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