I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
