David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
