"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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