Is it because I queefed?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
