This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
