Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
