where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
