I heard we made out
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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