Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
