it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm just crazy horny about you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
