I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
