What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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