Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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