You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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