Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
