I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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