I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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