this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
