I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
