he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
