I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
