I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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