You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize