There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
