Me. At least after what I've been through.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
