My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize