Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
